Sonder
by prongsdeer
Summary: How beautiful is it to realize we aren't so different after all? For Sirius and Marlene, it wasn't so easy to notice... - Rated M for language and eventual smut -
1. The New Beginnings

Lily almost arrived late from the first Potions class of the sixth year, as she kindly directed some first years to the right way. She walked fast and stormed inside, but halted in the middle of the dimly lit classroom when she saw Severus, sitting at the same place they used to sit together in the past five years. He was in a conversation with Mulciber, so Lily walked deeper inside the room before he could've noticed her. As from this year only students with at least Exceed Expectations could take the course, the place looked unusually empty.

"Join us, Evans?"

Lily looked down at the grinning James, who leaned back on his chair and extended his arms. She exchanged a short glance with Sirius who rolled his eyes, before she answered with a fake smile, "What a wonderful idea!"

That caused James nearly fall back with the chair. "Really?"

"No," she replied shortly and continued her searching for a better place. James looked like he got slapped in the face as his cheeks turned pink, and murmured something like "It wasn't really nice," while Sirius kept laughing at the scenario.

"Would you just shut up, Padfoot?" Lily heard from the other side of the class while she found another empty place – in the back of the room, next to two Slytherin girls.

"I'm sorry, do you mind if I sit here?" Lily interrupted their conversation.

Marlene, who sat closer to her, looked up at her with curious eyes. "Not at all," she said, so Lily plopped down with a thankful smile and pulled her book out from her bag. Marlene continued her conversation with Alicia, but closed it down quickly as she was too curious about the Gryffindor girl's new choice of place.

"I honestly don't mind that you're here, but you used to sit with Snape, right?"

"Not anymore," she murmured, not looking up from her book, and Marlene understood it was something she'd rather not talk about.

"And what about your housemates?"

Lily followed Marlene's gaze; her green eyes stopped at the boys. Sirius was heavily shaking his head while James kept talking to him. "I'd rather skip every class and fail than sit next to Potter."

Marlene laughed. "Yeah, I should've thought after you called him… what was your phrase? An arrogant, bullying toe rag?"

Lily closed her eyes for a second as she chuckled. "Did you hear that?"

"I think the whole courtyard hear it," she laughed again. "I almost felt sorry for poor James… but then I didn't."

Lily snorted; she out a loose strand of hair behind her ear before she said, frowning, "I thought you were friends… I mean, I used to see you two together."

A heavy sigh left Marlene's lips, but before she could've said what she wanted to say, Professor Slughorn walked into the classroom. He talked about the potions he set on his table, and everyone in the room started to take notes, while the girls continued their conversation in whispers, quills in their hands.

"We were friends. But he's such an asshole lately," Marlene shook her head. "Okay, he always was. But we were still good friends, you know? We know each other since we were born. He's just too busy now with spending all of his time with the amazing Sirius Black," she finished with a roll of her eyes.

Lily looked up from her parchment with a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "What's your problem with Sirius?"

"Everything," she rolled her eyes again.

"I don't know," Lily shrugged. "I'm pretty good friends with him."

Marlene just was about to ask why, when Slughorn interrupted them suddenly, his voice echoing in the room. "Miss Evans! I thought your place was in front of my desk!"

Lily cleared her throat and shifted in her chair, but before she could gave an answer, Marlene cut her off. "I'm terribly sorry, professor. I asked her to sit here – you know, so she could help me sometimes with my potions."

"Oh, of course! You'll learn from the best!" Slughorn said with the proudest smile and with a short laugh, before he turned back to his cauldron.

"Thank you," Lily whispered.

Marlene waved. "Anyone who can turn James down lie this is a friend of mine."

Lily choked back a laugh before she said, "Then I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

And it turned out that Lily was right. Sooner than they would thought, she and Marlene became close friends; by November, there was hardly a day when they didn't spend at least a half an hour together.

Of course there were days when they couldn't meet – like when they both got a lot of homework, when Lily had prefect duties, or when Marlene had to attend on detentions. Like on that rainy afternoon, not so long after the first Quidditch match of the season. After the game Marlene hurried back to the common room and finished some of her homework; and it was already late afternoon when she finally arrived to the Hospital Wing. She sighed in the middle of the dimly lit room when she saw James, lying on the hospital bed, his right arm swaddled with bandages. She walked closer slowly, poured some fresh water into his cup, before she crossed her arms across her chest and said grudgingly,

"Time to wake up, Potter."

But James wasn't asleep; he turned his head towards Marlene, frowning. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to change your bandage," she explained while she sat down on the chair next to his bed. "And I'm not an expert, so I suggest you to sit up and help me or it will hurt."

He sat up as quickly as his aching muscles let him, his eyes narrowed. "I don't understand. Do you want to break my arm again or something?"

"Do I have a reason to do that?"

"Honestly, at this point I can't be sure."

Marlene chuckled but rolled her eyes, before she started to roll the bandage off his arm. "No, it was satisfying enough to see you falling off of your broom," she lied, leaving out the part her heart skipped a beat seeing him falling from several feet from the ground.

"Your beater literally pushed me off," James said with anger in his eyes, but changed into a proud tone, "But we still won."

"Wonderful," Marlene answered offhandedly.

James still watched her carefully, waiting for a few seconds before he asked again, "So… what are you doing here?"

Marlene didn't look up at him as she answered. "I got detention… I have to help around the Hospital Wing for two weeks, every day," she finished with a growl as she tossed the bloody gauze away.

"What have you done, Marly?" James laughed, causing Marlene to smile at the old nickname, but still not looked into his eyes.

"None of your business."

"Oh, c'mon. We're all friends here."

"Are we?" she asked, finally finding his gaze. She grabbed a bowl full of water from the nightstand and started to clean his wound up again as she continued, "McGonagall found me snogging with a boy in a broom closet."

"Woah," James laughed loudly, but stopped after he winced at the pain. "Well, you never were a good girl."

"You get detentions literally every week."

James shrugged. "Yeah, but I was never caught snogging in a broom closet."

"Because you've never kissed anyone."

He let out a short laugh before he put his palm over his heart. "Ouch."

Marlene smiled at him, but didn't say anything. The truth was, she was still disappointed that their friendship ended so suddenly. They never had an argument, they never hated each other – it just slowly faded away. She missed those times and she missed that pure, childish friendship. And now, as James lied there with scars and bruises all over his body, she remembered back a warm, sunny summer day…

 _"_ _Are you sure you don't want to come up here?"_

 _Marlene looked up at James in the tree, the same tree where the wooden swing she was sitting in was hanging from. "So I could break my leg again because of you? No, thank you."_

 _"_ _I told you," James shouted before he jumped down, landing on his knees and groaning in pain before he stood up. "It was an accident."_

 _"_ _You said the same when you broke my nose while we were playing quidditch."_

 _"_ _Marly," James sighed, like he was ready to talk about the most important topic in the world. "Quidditch is a dangerous sport. You should be lucky you got away with only a broken nose. And your mom fixed it anyway," he said, reaching out to poke her nose, but Marlene rolled her eyes and jumped out from the swing before he could touch her._

 _"_ _I just don't want to break my neck before Hogwarts because of you," she said while she sat down on the cool grass under the shadow of the huge tree._

 _James just joined next to Marlene, but he was already on his feet again a second later, after the girl mentioned the school. "Hogwarts! I'm so excited! You better be in Gryffindor with me, though."_

 _"_ _James, what makes you so sure you'll get sorted in Gryffindor?"_

 _"_ _I have to be in the best house," he frowned, sitting down next to her again. "Just imagine being in Slytherin… I think I'd rather just stay at home."_

 _Marlene shrugged, running her fingers through the grass. "Maybe I'll be in Slytherin."_

 _"_ _I don't think so," James shook his head. "You're too cool to be a Slytherin."_

 _Marlene chuckled. "But what if I will be?"_

 _James sighed again. "Then our friendship is over."_

 _The girl laughed and hit James in the shoulder with her fist before she jumped up and started to run towards their house, James following her quickly._

"Marlene!" James' loud voice woke her up from her daydream; his eyebrows raised and looking at her curiously.

She cleared her throat. "Sorry. What did you say?"

"I was just saying," James started, shifting in the bed and trying to sound as casual as he could, "that I was you became friends with Evans."

Marlene let out a short, deep breath and rolled her blue eyes, already knowing where this conversation is going to lead. She started to apply fresh and clean bandage on his arm. "Yeah. And?"

"Nothing, I was just saying," he shrugged. They fall in silence for long seconds, until Marlene was almost done with the bandage, when James spoke up again. "I mean, why? And how? I'm trying for years."

Marlene looked in his eyes, her brows raised. "Being an asshole isn't a good way to make friends. Or keep them."

James wanted to talk about Lily. He also wanted to say he has a lot of friends, good friends. He'd already open his mouth to say he was never an asshole to Lily, but then he realized what Marlene meant, and he felt himself ashamed. He watched as she collected the garbage around them before he slowly started, "So this is why you didn't talk with me?"

"No, James," she said, her eyebrows knotted in anger. " _You_ didn't talk with me! You kept ignoring me just because I got sorted into Slytherin."

"This isn't…"

"You got new friends, I get it," she cut him off, her voice low, but firm. "I'm not angry. I was just disappointed. I thought we were friends… guess I was wrong."

She adjusted her skirt and stood up from the chair, but James reached out and grabbed forearm. "I'm sorry."

This caught Marlene off guard so much she froze; she didn't remember if she ever heard James saying sorry. She slowly sat back, while James let out a laugh, seeing the girl's shocked expression. "Listen, I didn't want this to happen to our friendship. And I didn't ignore you because you're a Slytherin. Okay, maybe in first year, but we were all stupid kids."

"You're still a stupid kid."

He extended his unharmed arm. "I'm trying to apologize here."

"Sorry," Marlene pouted. "It can't be easy, as this is the first time you're doing this."

James let out a weak chuckle and Marlene smiled too, so he decided it's safe to continue. "All I'm saying is… if you want to of course… maybe we should try and be friends again."

Marlene looked at him with a nostalgic smile before she let out a deep breath and stood up. "Okay. Let's try it. But I'm not going to help you with Lily."

James growled and shouted after Marlene. "Then forget it!"

Marlene didn't think she could be friends again with James, not really. It was a long time ago when they had that childish, innocent friendship; they both changed too much and she wasn't sure they could find a common ground again.

But deep down, even if Marlene couldn't trust in James the way she used to, she couldn't say him no when he offered his friendship. Maybe it was just the memories or the nostalgic smiles, but she felt herself then year old again whenever James grimaced at her across the Great Hall.

Thanks for her old-new friend and her new friend, Marlene spent more and more time around Gryffindors. She got sniffy glances from both her own housemates and from the others, but she never cared about it. No one could upset her because of the stupid house rivalry, none, except one boy.

"How do you climb all these fucking stairs every single day?" Marlene panted as she leaned against the cold stone railing.

Lily, who was several steps ahead of Marlene, chuckled and walked back to her. "Come on, we're almost there," she said and grabbed her forearm, pulling her up on the last few stairs.

"This is the first and the last time I'm going in there, just so you know," she growled after they stopped in front of the Fat Lady's portrait. "Are you sure they won't throw me out, hex me or something?"

"Do you think you'll be the first Slytherin who comes into our common room?"

"I'm not concerned about going in, I'm concerned about if I could leave in one piece," Marlene grumbled, crossing her arms across her chest. "Especially if Black will be there."

Lily growled loudly and leaned against the wall with her shoulder. "Okay, seriously, what is your problem with each other?"

"He's a git, that's what our problem with each other."

"Maybe you should talk to him once," Lily offered with a smile. "Maybe you'd see he isn't that bad."

Marlene's eyes widened, like she just got slapped in the face. "No fucking way."

The Fat Lady behind them let out a loud gasp. "Language!"

They both looked at her before Marlene looked back at Lily again. "You know what? I'll talk to him when you'll talk to James."

"Never in a million years."

Marlene grinned at her. "Good, it's settled then."

Lily opened her mouth to argue with her, but the Fat Lady cut her off before she could speak up again. "Would you go in or do I have to stand here all night?"

They climbed through after Lily told the password and the door opened. The first thing Marlene noticed how loud and crowded the common room was; it seemed like most students from the house gathered down there and not up in their dormitory. Music and chattering filled the warm place while others studied, threw Fanged Frisbees around, or just sat around a table to play Wizard's Chess.

"It's like a playground."

"Don't you like it?" Lily asked while she led Marlene deeper inside, trying to find an empty spot. Several people stopped what they were doing just to follow Marlene with their eyes, and even though she was very well aware of it, she show no sign she noticed them. She only winked at a boy who stared her with dropped jaw, making him blush and looking away immediately.

"I guess I do," Marlene shrugged. They found a few abandoned beanbags in the back of the room; Lily plopped down and gestured towards Marlene to join. She took off her robe and dropped it on the floor along with her tie, rolled up the sleeves of her white shirt, but before she could lower herself down, she noticed a black t-shirt on the black beanbag she wanted to sit on. She reached down and picked it up, before she finally plopped down with a low growl. "Finally. My legs are sore."

Lily just laughed and watched in amusement while Marlene folded out the t-shirt that was still in her hands.

"Cool, I love the Ramones."

"That's Sirius'."

Marlene threw the piece of clothing across the room immediately. "Ew. Disgusting."

Lily closed her eyes and sighed, but decided she isn't going to say anything about it. It was more than enough to hear Marlene complaining about Sirius any other time when they accidentally met around the school; she didn't want to add fuel to the fire. She changed the subject and they talked about their plans for the Christmas break, but just a few minutes passed when James jumped down next to Marlene.

"Hi Marly," he embraced her shoulders, nearly pushing her off the beanbag. "I never thought I'll see you here."

"Surprise," Marlene growled with a smile while she pushed James away with both of her hands. "There are other chairs here, you know."

James stood up and looked around, running his fingers through his hair. "Can I sit next to you, Lily?"

"No, you can't."

He pouted, but didn't seem sad at all while took a seat next to Marlene, and offered her some Pepper Imps. The girl refused it, watching as smoke emitted from James' nose and ears while he eat the candy, grinning like he was just so proud of himself. She looked at Lily, shaking her head disapprovingly but smiling too, while the redhead just rolled her eyes and rather looked the complete opposite way.

"Why my t-shirt is on the floor?" Sirius asked after he came down from his room too, picking the shirt up.

"I don't know, maybe you shouldn't leave your clothes around everywhere."

Sirius raised his head up quickly; his eyes found Marlene and his brows knotted in ager. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Hanging out with my friends, you see," Marlene smiled.

"In my common room?"

"Oh sorry, I didn't know you're Godric Gryffindor," Marlene said with a true surprise on her face.

Sirius chuckled and crossed his arms across his chest, looking down at the girl. "You think you're so smart with that sharp tongue of yours, right?"

"I know I am," she shrugged, but even though she sounded casual, she felt her blood pressure rising with every second.

Before Sirius could argue back, Lily jumped up. "Could you two shut up? Hate each other if you want, I don't care, but just do it in silence. I'm so sick of that I can't speak with Marlene for more than ten minutes before you show up and start to argue about nothing."

"Are you saying this is my fault?" Sirius asked, completely offended.

"No, but you could just leave us alone, Sirius."

"Right," he answered lowering his arm. "Why doesn't she leave? I think the Slytherin common room would be more comfortable for her."

Lily sat back down with a sigh. "I'm not going to risk it and meet with Snape, thank you."

They fell in an uncomfortable silence for a second before Sirius finally said, "That's fair."

"I'm not saying you to should be friends," Lily sighed again. "Just try to exist in the same room without want to kill each other."

Marlene looked up at Sirius, biting her tongue to prevent herself from say something. Sirius looked at her too, arguing with himself whether if he should just give in or continue to fighting with the girl. After both of them fought an internal battle with themselves, Sirius was the first who spoke up, looking at the redhead,

"But just for you, Lils."

"Yeah, although, I still want to kill him, but I promise I'll try not showing it," Marlene said, flashing a fake smile at Sirius who sat down on the floor with his back against the wall.

"That's good enough for me," Lily shrugged.

Marlene and Sirius spent the rest of their afternoon with trying to avoid each other's eyes with everything they had. It felt like a sin, even just looking at the other for more than a short, accidental moment. Although, it was truly hard for Marlene to prevent herself from laughing sometimes when Sirius said something funny, but she always found a way to hide her amusement. He might think she likes him, and there's no need for that, right?


	2. A Slip of the Tongue

"I don't know why everyone likes her so much," Sirius grumbled not much after Marlene stepped into the library. As she walked down the aisle between the tables and the rows of bookshelves, she could feel the eyes on her back, even though she didn't pay much attention to it. "I mean, she has a nice ass, but that's the end of her good qualities."

"Mate," James said disapprovingly; a broken golden snitch in his hand and a wand in the other.

"Aww. So now you're friends again and I can't say anything bad about her?" Sirius flashed a fake grin, which disappeared after James looked up at him,

"This is exactly what I am saying, Pads."

Sirius let out a frustrated sigh and shook his head. He took one last look at Marlene – who now was sitting at a reading table, a boy on her left, his arm resting on the backrest of her chair as he spoke close to her face – before he turned back to his book again.

"I think she's cute," Peter said cheerfully, leaning back on his chair with his book between his hands.

With both of his eyebrows raised, Sirius looked at him slowly. "Then you have a pretty bad judgement, Wormy."

"That's true," James finally stopped tapping the stolen snitch with his wand; he pushed up his glasses with his knuckles and looked at his friends. "One time when we were down by the lake at summer, she stole my clothes, somehow conjured my pants off of me, and I had to run up to the house with bare ass while she was sitting up on a tree and laughed at me. Then she played the innocent and my mom grounded me because of my inappropriate behaviour."

Remus was shaking from his muffled laughter above his almost finished essay, and Sirius couldn't hide his grin either. "You know, maybe you should actually say thank you for that. At least someone saw you naked."

James returned back to his snitch with a sigh, still not giving up on it, while Sirius leaned closer. "Seriously, when will you finally get over Lily? You could get any girl from here without even trying."

Since he got no answer, he went on. "See those girls over there? They literally couldn't take their eyes off you since we came in." He looked at the three girls with his head tilted on the left side, a cheeky smile on his lips.

"Not interested," James said simply, not even looking up from the little golden ball.

Sirius looked back at him and let out a deep sigh, before stood up from the table. "Then I'll take my chances."

With that, he left his friends and his notes behind; charming the girls was more interesting than learning to Charms.

* * *

The last two weeks before the Christmas break passed at an agonizingly slow pace. The students couldn't wait to finally get some break, though it seemed none of the teachers left them without homework this time. However, in the moment they walked out from the last class, they pushed every tiny bit of thought of responsibility to the back of their minds.

Marlene and Lily said goodbye to each other at the King's Cross, but they didn't spend much time without each other; one day later they were already together again in the heart of London. Since Marlene told her friend she didn't buy any presents yet and she truly had no idea what she should give to her friends and family, Lily promised her she'll bring her to muggle stores to find some good gifts. Lily knew well that for wizards and witches simple muggle objects sometimes could be more interesting than magic itself.

And Marlene really didn't mind that for once, she could walk around in a shop without finding screaming toys or getting shouted at by a book. It was her first visit in muggle shops, and she couldn't even hide her amazement. By the end of the day, she spent more money on nice clothes for herself than she spent on presents.

"I think I'll buy this for James," Marlene lifted a boxed Darth Vader action figure down from the shelf, looking at Lily with a pleased smile, who furrowed her eyebrows.

"You're going to see him?"

"Yeah," Marlene shrugged. "We used to spend a lot of Christmas dinners together when we were kids. Actually, my parents still go every year, I just always find an excuse to stay at home since we stopped talking," she continued as they walked back to pay, but as it was just the day before Christmas, there was a long line of people. They stopped at the end of the row with a low grunt, before Marlene went on. "And it will be great to hang out with him without Black appearing ten minutes later to annoy me."

"Yeah," Lily said with a weak chuckle, staring off as she was tired and lost in her thoughts. It took long seconds before Marlene's words really reached her; then she slowly looked at her, the green eyes wide. "Oh my God, you don't know!"

"What?"

At this point, Lily couldn't stop laughing. "This will be hilarious."

"Lily, I'm going to hex you!" she warned her friend loudly, earning a disapproving look from the woman in front of them. She turned her voice down after the woman looked away. "Seriously, what is it?"

Lily stopped laughing and threw her red locks behind her shoulders, though the grin couldn't disappear from her face. "Even though I won't be there to see your face, I won't spoil the surprise. But trust me, it'll be great."

By the time they finally payed for James' present, Marlene stopped trying to get answer for her question. Of course it bothered her, but she thought if she might play it another way and act like she didn't care, Lily will finally spill out what she was talking about earlier. But she was smarter than that.

"I honestly hare you, you know," Marlene said as they exchanged a hug, ready to leave each other for the upcoming two weeks.

"Don't be like this," Lily chuckled, pulling back and looking at her pouting friend. "Trust me, it'll me great."

* * *

Marlene didn't believe to her friend, not even for a second; the smug smile on her lips was too suspicious. But despite of how curious she was, the tiredness win the battle for control of her body. It was deep in the night when she finally wrapped the presents, and she fell asleep in the second her head hit the pillow. By the morning, she completely forget about Lily's strange behaviour.

She spent the next day with her parents, as she always had since she was born. They opened their presents, played board games, eat delicious meals, and talked for hours; Marlene truly loved spending the holidays at home. It didn't matter how old she was, she could always felt herself a six year old happy little girl every time when she went home for the Christmas break.

Knowing she'll meet with James and with his parents again also contributed for her good mood. She spend hours in front of the mirror, picking out the perfect dress, curling her hair in perfect waves, applying just the perfect amount of makeup, before they left their house to visit the Potters, who lived only for a five minutes' walk from them.

"Maybe you should have chosen something more solid, don't you think, sweetie?" Marlene's mother asked, who obviously thought that her daughter could have worn a longer a dress. "We're going to a Christmas dinner, and they haven't seen you in years!"

They stopped in front of the Potter's manor; Marlene exchanged a small glance with his dad who let out a sigh, before he knocked on the door. As she only rolled her eyes in answer, her mother went on. "What they will think of you?"

"Don't worry mom, everyone loves me," she flashed a huge smile at her mother, who rolled eyes but smiled back, right before the door opened.

It was James who opened the door; Marlene could see as his eyes widened in the moment he spotted her. He wore a red, ugly Christmas sweater, and small antlers on the top of his head.

"I didn't expect you to come," he said with an honest smile after Marlene's parents left them in the hall. She took her coat off but they didn't follow them right away.

"But I know you secretly hoped," she replied jokingly. "Why are you wearing antlers?"

"Because I'm a deer."

"You're an idiot, that's what you are," Marlene shook her head at the grinning James, before she handed the box to him. "Merry Christmas. Sorry it's a bit late, but I wanted to give it to you in person."

"Thank you," James chuckled. "How did you like mine?"

Marlene thought back about yesterday morning, when she opened the boxes under the tree, still in her pyjamas, an excited smile on her face. At least until she found James' gift – it was a medium sized box with little holes poked on its side. It was suspicious enough so Marlene opened it as slowly as she could, but she still jumped up with a scream when a little, black snake slithered out from it into her lap.

"It was lovely. Didn't scared me to death at all," she said sarcastically, then quickly added, "Why did you think I like snakes?"

"Well, you're a Slytherin," James grinned, but it disappeared in the next second. "So you don't like it?"

"No, I love it, it's cute. I named it Fluffy."

James stopped opening his present once again. "I told you in the letter, the name is Mr Fangtastic!"

"Yeah, that's terrible, James."

Before James could argue back, Marlene's mom appeared in the hallway. "What are you still doing here? Come inside!"

"Fluffy. It doesn't even makes sense," James murmured under his breath as they followed Marlene's mother through the hall, back to the living room, while the boy still tried to peel the wrapping off the box, now with less enthusiasm. "What was your problem with Mr Fangtastic? Honestly Marly, you could just… Merlin, I love you so much!" he added the last words as a shout, drawing the attention to themselves as they just stepped into the living room. After a light shake of her head, Marlene looked away from James, and that was when every bit of joy vanished from her face, as they gaze met with Sirius'.

"I'm going to kill Lily," she mumbled under her breath, and saw as Sirius clenched his jaw as he was looking at her. She heard James' gushing about the present and Marlene, but it sounded all muffled while she kept thinking about how she could escape herself from this dinner.

She was pulled into a hug before she could think of anything smart, but at least Euphemia's cheerful voice pulled her back to the reality. "Marlene, I'm so happy to see you!" she stepped back to take a look at her. "Look at you, you're a grown woman! She looks so much like you, Helen," she added, glancing at Marlene's mother while she was still holding her hands. And it was true – Marlene inherited a lot from her mother, except her blue eyes. They were her father's.

"Thank you so much. It's really nice to see you too – I'm sorry I didn't came in a while…"

"Nonsense. There's no need to say sorry for anything," she said, letting go of her hands before she turned around, looking at Sirius. "You know each other, I believe?"

"We had a pleasure to meet," Sirius said slowly with a fake smile, which Marlene returned quickly, and added quietly so only Sirius could hear,

"Pleasure? Clearly I wasn't there, then."

Before Sirius could respond anything, James appeared between the two of them. "Ok, listen. Can you at least fake you like each other?"

"Perhaps. If she won't open her mouth," Sirius said with ease, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Marlene sneered at him. "Well, maybe you got used to it that girls faking _things_ in your presence, but I'm not that good actress."

Once again, Sirius was cut off by James before he could even open his mouth. "I don't care. Don't talk to each other then. I don't need to you to kill each other over the table."

"You sound like Lily," said Marlene and Sirius in unison, something that made James smile. It also made them finally fell in silence. Marlene now wished she had stayed at home, and Sirius wished that Marlene had stayed at home, too.

Most of the dinner went smoothly, even though Marlene needed to sit across from Sirius, unable to avoid his gaze from time to time. It just bothered her even more, that the boy found the common ground so easily with everyone; he talked with her parents like he'd knew each other for long years. Why can't he just shut the hell up?

"And how is Mark? We haven't seen them in a while now!"

The mention of her brother's name made Marlene sad immediately. Ever since he moved away into another country with her wife, they could only meet during the breaks if they come home to visit, but this was the first Christmas when he didn't come back. She poured some more wine into her goblet while her parents were too busy talking about Mark and his new-born daughter, and leaned back on her chair to slowly drink it up all.

"Are you okay?" James asked quietly as he leaned closer to her across the table. She only gave a nod and a reassuring, small smile, but didn't say anything more. Sirius caught himself for a second on that he wanted to know what was going on with her, but he quickly shrugged it off.

"But I tell you, she cries even more than Marlene, when she was a child!" she heard her mother's laughter and shot a warning glance at her; there was no need to bring up old, embarrassing childhood stories while Sirius was sitting in front of her.

Clearly, they didn't feel her fears, as Euphemia went on with a chuckle, "Oh, I remember! She hated bath times, didn't she?"

"Oh, no, no, no," Helen replied, while Marlene put her palm on her forehead and did everything to avoid Sirius' gaze. "She only cried when I tried to dress her up! She'd rather run around the house naked. She loved shoving off," she added and patted her daughter's arm, while all of them laughed. Taking the advantage of the noise, Sirius added,

"That hasn't changed much."

In answer, Marlene kicked him in his ankle, which caused him to jump up from his chair.

"Are you alright, Sirius dear?"

"Of course," he smiled at Euphemia, before he shot a sneer at Marlene. She smiled back and hoped they'd stop recalling the awkward parts of Marlene's past, but then Sirius turned to Marlene's mother,

"So our sweet Marly was quite a stubborn child, wasn't she, Mrs McKinnon?"

Marlene felt she could break the silver goblet in her hand into tiny pieces. She knew her mother won't let go of the subject now, and she was right.

"I told you, just call me Helen!" she started with a smile, which made Marlene even angrier. "And oh yes, absolutely! She could make terrible scenes if something didn't happen in the way she wanted. You see, there was one time…"

They continued telling stories from Marlene and James' childhood for nearly an hour, until for Marlene it wasn't funny at all. However, everyone else at the table had a good time; the adults couldn't stop laughing while they recalled the old memories, and James, who had absolutely no secret in front of Sirius at this point, seemed he enjoyed himself pretty well, too.

"See this little scar on her forehead?" her mother gently touched the old, tiny line on her forehead, which was barely visible. "She was running away from James who chased her on his little broomstick, but she tripped over our long curtain in the living room," she shook her head with a sigh, remembering at the time she and her husband were scared to death when they saw it. "She hit her head and it started bleeding, and James couldn't stop crying because he thought Marlene is going to die."

James extended his arms with a smile and shrugged. "Always the chaser."

"This is the best dinner I've ever had," Sirius smiled in satisfaction, chewing on the dessert.

"Oh, thank you, Sirius!" Euphemia said proudly, though for the boy all these new information was much more delicious than the food itself. Marlene knew this of course, and after his remark, she couldn't take it anymore. She carefully stood up from her seat and said,

"Can I talk with Sirius for a second? In private."

James let out a deep sigh, knowing this isn't going to be good, but the others didn't pay much attention to them as Marlene walked out from the dining room, Sirius uncertainly following her. Still, after they stopped in the kitchen, he leaned against the countertops with confidence showing on his face, his arms across his chest. "What's your problem, McKinnon?"

"My problem is that you look like a kid on Christmas morning."

"It's Christmas."

"Merlin, you're killing me," she mumbled under her breath, running her fingers through her locks before she straightened, hands on her hips. "Just stop laughing at me, alright?"

"Why? Everyone is laughing. Am I not allowed to laugh now, or what?"

"No! You aren't laughing because these stories are funny, you're laughing because you love hearing embarrassing stories about me."

Sirius let his arms fall on his side as he heaved a sigh. "Take a break, McKinnon. Not everything is about you."

"Well, not everything is about you either. And, by the way, why are you even here? And how would you feel if someone would start to tell embarrassing childhood stories about you?" Marlene asked, poking his chest with her fingertip.

Sirius narrowed his eyes and looked like he made some serious thinking before he said, "Embarrassing, funny childhood stories? Sorry, I don't have any."

"Oh, yeah, sure," Marlene nodded. "I almost forget the perfect Sirius Black was even perfect in his childhood and haven't done anything embarrassing ever."

Sirius let out a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Listen, Marlene. I don't like you. I'll never like you…"

"Good to know it's mutual," Marlene cut him off, crossing her arms across her chest, never breaking the eye-contact.

"… but I promised James I'll behave," he said with a roll of his eyes. "So could you calm down, so we can go back and avoid each other's existence while you're here?"

"Fine."

"Fine."

With that, they turned around and left the kitchen, but just as they pulled out their chair to sit down, Fleamont stood up. "Why don't you just go up to James' room? We were just about to go back to the living room."

Sirius and Marlene froze and looked at each other with a deadly stare, while James threw his head back and looked up at the ceiling. If they managed to hold themselves back so far, they'll surely make an explosion in his room without their parents.

They walked up into the stairs in the most uncomfortable silence they've ever experienced. It didn't bother James though; as long as they were in silence, they won't try to curse each other's heads off…

After they walked into James' huge room, Sirius sat down on his own bed, while Marlene chose the chair on the other side of the room, in front of James' desk. She crossed her legs and her arms, looking at everything except Sirius. It went on at least for a minute, while James paced up and down, playing with a screaming Yo-Yo, until Sirius straightened up,

"Would you shut that thing up, Prongs?"

James stopped to look at his friend. "Sorry, but it's still a better company than you two."

"If she wouldn't be here, we could have a good time," Sirius said as he lied down on the bed, staring the ceiling.

"And if you wouldn't be here, we could have a great time too."

"Like what? Stealing each other's clothes or chasing each other on your broomsticks?"

"Yeah, because bullying the neighbours surely would be better, yeah?"

James sighed and mumbled something under his breath that none of them could hear, before he continued pacing up and down in the room with his screaming toy.

Sirius stood up but didn't go any closer to Marlene. "Don't start to cry McKinnon, these are just some pranks. And if you hate us so much, why don't you just go home?"

Marlene stood up too and took a few step forward. "I don't hate James, I only hate you, Black. And why don't _you_ go home?"

The screaming Yo-Yo stopped in James hand and he let it roll across the room, while he warningly said, "Marlene…"

But Marlene didn't even hear him as she continued. "Couldn't you just spend the holidays with your family like everyone else? Or your family decided they'll finally get rid of you? Can't blame them, though…"

"Marlene!" James called again, louder this time. She looked at him with a frown before he looked back at Sirius, who couldn't stand Marlene's gaze anymore and stormed out of the room without a word.

"What the hell?"

James walked closer to Marlene with a sigh. "I didn't want to tell you… but you shouldn't have said this to him."

"Well, he shouldn't have said a lot of thing to me as well!"

James sighed again and ran his fingers through his messy hair. "Listen. He isn't really a guest here anymore. He lives with us," he started, and continued as Marlene looked even more confused. "He needed to run away from home."

" _Run away_? What do you mean?"

"I mean his parents abused him since forever and he didn't have any other choice if he wanted to leave the house again in one piece," he said with anger and disgust in his voice.

Marlene was sure she had never felt so ashamed. She wanted to dig a whole and bury herself. "I didn't know," she said weakly, before she suddenly remembered their conversation on the kitchen. _"Embarrassing, funny childhood stories? Sorry, I don't have any."_ It wasn't a joke, and she had no idea, but now his words etched themselves into her brain. "James, I honestly didn't know."

"I know, Marly," he said reassuringly.

They stayed in silence for a couple seconds longer before she said, "I should apologize."

"Maybe you should just leave him alone…"

"No, I need to," she cut him off, leaving James' bedroom. She needed to get it off her chest, before the guilt eats her alive.

She didn't find him in the house, so Marlene took her coat on and stepped out to the balcony in the hope she'd see him from there somewhere, but for here surprise, Sirius was there, leaning against the wall and smoking a cigarette. She slowly approached him, while Sirius stared in the distance, avoiding her.

"Euphemia won't be happy if she'll see you with that."

Sirius ignored her comment and walked away from her, stopping in front of the wrought iron railing. "Leave me alone, McKinnon."

Marlene sighed and considered for a second she should just leave him as he said, but she stepped forward and stood next to him. "James told me what happened. I'm really sorry, Sirius, I didn't know…"

"I don't need your pity."

"It's not pity! I'm saying sorry because I was an asshole. I'd never say any of that if…"

"Oh, and should I believe that?" Sirius cut him off, turning towards her. "You never had a nice word to me, and suddenly, now you care about me?"

"I'm not saying that, I just…"

But Sirius didn't care what Marlene wanted to say. She didn't only touch a nerve, she managed to find Sirius' one of the weakest spot. "I don't care, McKinnon. In my eyes, you aren't any better than my parents."

"Excuse me?!" Marlene shouted with widened eyes. She didn't know much about Sirius' parents, but she heard stories from her parents about the Blacks. Besides, knowing now they abused their son Merlin-know how terribly if he didn't see any other way out but running away, showed more than enough to Marlene.

"You heard me," he said through gritted teeth. "You're arrogant and selfish, you don't care about anyone else but yourself! Do you think I buy this shit that you want to say sorry because you mean it? You only wanted to apologize so you could feel yourself better."

Sirius' words left Marlene speechless. He shook his head, dropped his cigarette down, crushed it under a foot and vanished the evidence with his wand, before he turned to leave, but Marlene caught his arm just in the last moment.

"Stop acting like you know me," she was angry, but her voice was low. "You know, you maybe don't hate muggleborns like your parents, but you're just as judgemental like them!"

Sirius let out a sceptical laugh, so Marlene went on quickly, louder this time. "You only hate me from the start because I'm a Slytherin and I came from a pureblood family! Not everything is black and white, and you're unable to see it! Or do you think I could ever became friends with James if I'd be just like your parents?"

They stared each other for a few, long, strained seconds, before Marlene let his arm go and hurried back to the house. She went there to apologize, but his insults were just too much. She left him there and didn't care about his opinion on her anymore.

But no matter how much Marlene tried to forget their argument later on that day, she couldn't. She found herself lying awake in the bed at two in the morning, still thinking about Sirius.


	3. Misjudged

**Here's the newest chapter of the story - longer than than the first two. I always have so much fun writings about these two... :) Please leave review & let me know what you think!**

* * *

"You did what?!" Lily shouted at Marlene in the dimly lit compartment. It wasn't late, but the sky was the darkest shade of grey, rain drumming heavily against the train's window. Marlene knew Lily is going to be mad at her; maybe that's why she tried to avoid her at the crowded King's Cross, and decided to find her only hours after the departure. Yet still, she needed to talk about what happened during that Christmas dinner.

Mary and Dorcas both snapped their head up after Lily's yell, looking at them with curious eyes. Avoiding their gaze, Marlene heaved a sigh. _Damn Lily, there was a reason I told you this quietly…_

"It just slipped out. I didn't mean it," she crossed her arms across her chest, staring her feet before she looked up at Lily again. "And by the way, I didn't know what happened with him at home. How would I?"

"You shouldn't say things like that to anyone!" Lily snapped, then lowered her voice. "You never know what people have to go home to."

For a little while, silence settled between them; they only listened the steady rattling of the train. They avoided each other's gaze, and only Dorcas and Mary exchanged meaningful glances, before they started to chatter again. Then Marlene quietly added, "Well, I tried to apologize, but he said I'm just like his parents."

 _Sirius, you damn fool,_ Lily thought before she spoke up, "And what did you say?"

Marlene opened her mouth, then closed it, and repeated is a couple times. "Well, uh," she bit down her lower lip and ran her fingers through her hair before she finally said slowly, "I told him he's just as judgemental as his parents."

Lily let out a loud growl and buried her face into her palms. "Jesus, Marlene!"

"But that's the truth! He only hates me because I'm a Slytherin!"

"She's right, you know," Dorcas said suddenly, causing the girls to look at her. "No matter what happened to him at home, he shouldn't be an asshole without any reason."

Marlene nodded in agreement, but Lily shook her head violently, her ponytail swaying from side to side. Her cheeks flushed, and Marlene could tell she was getting angry. "All I'm saying, you could have a little more sympathy. Not everyone has a perfect life at home like you," she said slowly and quietly, but jumped up from her seat in the moment the last word left her lips, and stormed out of the compartment. The girl exchanged a quick glance, before Marlene followed Lily.

She found her only a few cabins away, leaning against the window. She stared out even though she could see nothing of the landscape through the steamed glass, and Marlene knew Lily was close to crying.

"Did something happen?"

Lily shook her head as a no in answer, look down at her feet.

"Come on, Lily," Marlene said softly, placing her palm on her upper arm. She slowly looked up and took a shaky breath in before she started,

"Tuney didn't talk to me at all during the whole break," she looked away again. "She even threw my Christmas present into the dustbin without opening it."

Marlene clenched her fist and bit the inside of her cheek, took a deep breath before she slowly released it. She knew she shouldn't say anything mean about Petunia to Lily, but it was hard to control herself when she knew how her own sister treated her. She saw as tears started to roll down on her cheeks, so instead of saying anything, she pulled her into a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry Lily," she murmured after a minute of silence, before she pulled back to look at her. "And I know it isn't the same, but we're here for you."

"Thank you," Lily's voice hoarse; she cleared her throat and wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her green sweater. "I'm sorry Marly, I didn't want to talk to you like that. "It's just," she took another short, trembling breath in. "I don't know, can you two just stay in the same room without wanting to tear each other's head off? I love you, and I love Sirius too, and it hurts to see you do nothing but hurt each other."

"I really tried, Lily," Marlene sighed. "I tried to apologize, but he didn't care about it."

"Because you tried to apologize immediately after you said those things to him. I mean… it's not easy to earn his trust anyway…"

"It's not easy to earn mine either."

Lily let out a short laugh and shook her head. "I swear to God, you two are the most stubborn human beings I've ever met."

Marlene rolled her eyes but smiled as well. "Listen, I promise I won't start another fight with him, but if he picks on me…"

"I know, I know," Lily chuckled. "You'd rather die than say nothing."

"It doesn't only depend on me, is all I'm saying."

Lily nodded and of course she knew Sirius had his own share; their fights was as much as his fault as Marlene's. But now, she was glad to see she had some influence on Marlene; maybe if she could talk to Sirius too about it…

They both went back to their compartment to change into their robes, as they could arrive to Hogsmeade in any minute. By the time Marlene reached the cabin she sat on earlier, her friends already left – along with her trunk. For a second she was happy to see that at least they didn't forget about it, but then she remembered she was still in her muggle clothes. Hoping she could find them soon and quickly change her clothes before they'd reach the castle, she hurried down from the train, but she saw her friends nowhere around. She didn't even try to find Lily – she knew the Gryffindor girl had prefect duties at this time.

With a defeated sigh, Marlene slowly continued her way to find an empty carriage, thinking of her short skirt will earn at least ten points from Slytherin. At least she had a coat on so she wouldn't freeze to death.

"How's Mr Fangtastic doing?"

Marlene stopped and spun around. James was grinning at her and she smiled back, but it faded away after she saw Sirius next to his friend, who clearly tried to look at every direction except Marlene's.

"It's Fluffy," Marlene answered once they reached her. "And he's doing amazing."

James let out dramatic sigh and leaned his head back, before looked at Marlene again. "You managed to come up with the worst name for a snake."

Marlene only smiled in answer; Sirius' presence still made her nervous, no matter how good she hid it. The guilt she felt didn't disappear entirely in the past few days, and her previous conversation with Lily only made it worse again. Marlene knew Sirius was also guilty – but this didn't make her feel better. She carefully looked at Sirius, but he still avoided her.

James broke the awkward silence. "Look, there's two empty places on that carriage – come on Wormy, there's your crush, too," he said, grabbing his friend's arm and pulling him closer to the nearest carriage.

"I told you, I don't have a crush on her!"

"Yeah, this is why you're stalking on her?"

"I'm not stalking on her! We just always happen to be at the same place at the same time – that's not my fault."

Marlene and Sirius both watched as the boys walked away, before Sirius murmured quietly, "Fuck you, James."

Then he looked at Marlene and waved at the direction of the carriage with a dishonest smile. She sighed but climbed up, cursing James in her head while Sirius followed her. What did he think? He leaves them alone for five minutes and they are going to be friends? Whatever his intentions were, the journey to Hogwarts passed in the most awkward silence Marlene ever had to experience. They didn't talk, and they didn't even look at each other.

When the carriage stopped, Sirius hurried down as quickly as he could. Marlene rolled her eyes, seeing Sirius leaves as soon as it was possible, but when she carefully started to walk down on the few stairs, she froze; Sirius was offering his hand to her.

He rolled his grey eyes before looked back at her. "You're going to fall off those ridiculous high heels you're wearing. And if you think I'm going to carry you up to the Hospital Wing in my arms, you're wrong."

 _There we are_ , Marlene thought, but took his hand anyway as she climbed down. He let her hand in the second her feet reached the ground, but only started to walk after he made sure she was following him.

"They aren't ridiculous."

"They are."

"You're just jealous because I'm taller than you."

Sirius let out a weak chuckle and shook his head, but didn't look at her. "You aren't."

The rest of their walk passed in silence again. Marlene had no idea what she should say to him, if she should say anything at all. She was surprised – no, she was shocked that Sirius didn't entirely ignore her existence, or didn't say something rude to her. It was definitely the first time he was somewhat friendly.

When they reached the grand oak doors, but before they could step inside the castle, Sirius stopped her. "Can we talk?"

"Yes?"

Sirius heaved a sigh – he was so not ready for this conversation…

"Can we just stop fighting? We're driving our friends crazy. I don't say we should be friends, hell no, just… try not to say something "witty" every time when you see me."

Sirius probably thought Marlene just didn't give a shit about what he just said. She showed absolutely no sign she did; her face was almost blank and only her eyebrows raised slightly, almost invisibly. If there was one thing Marlene was good at, it was hiding he emotions. Obviously, Sirius couldn't know this, but while she appeared calm on the outside, her thoughts scurried back and forth on the inside. For Marlene, it seemed absurd – would Sirius stop fighting with her? He'd give up on picking on her just because of their mutual friends? It was a nice gesture though, she had to admit.

With the tiniest smile of the corner of her lips, she finally spoke up,

"Lily talked to you, didn't she?"

Sirius gave a short nod. "And James, too. He was mad at both of us after that Christmas dinner."

Marlene felt a lump in her throat again as the memories flooded back into her mind. After she swallowed hard, she opened her mouth to give it a try and apologize one more time for what she said, but she changed her mind in the last moment. Sirius wouldn't care, and Marlene couldn't blame him for it.

She leaned against the wall with her shoulder, arms crossed across her chest. A long sigh left her lips while she stared her feet, before she looked up at Sirius again. But even though the boy stood only two feet from her, Lily and James were the ones she was thinking of.

"Will you believe me if I say I'll stop?"

Sirius shrugged. "Sounds dangerous, but I don't have any other choice."

Marlene rolled her eyes before she said, "I promise I'll behave myself. _If_ you will, too."

"I will," he said confidently. For a few seconds that seemed too long for them, they only stood there, staring each other in the quiet courtyard as every student walked back to their common room by now. Marlene was the one who broke the silence.

"We should go," she said, straightened up and walked towards the entrance, but turned back to him before she'd go in. "You know, maybe I misjudged you… a little bit."

"Woah. Don't go sweet on me now, McKinnon, because I'm not sure I can requite that."

"Well I didn't say I like you," Marlene shook her head, "I'm just saying _maybe_ you're not as much an insensitive asshole as I thought you were."

That made Sirius genuinely laugh, but before he could say anything, Marlene felt two arms around her waist, spinning her around and pulling her closer.

She only had a time to take a quick look at her boyfriend, before he pressed his lips against hers, locking them into a passionate kiss. Marlene let herself melt against him for a couple seconds before she pulled back, looking into his blue eyes.

"Collin, would you slow down?"

"No. I haven't seen you in weeks," he smiled, his hands firmly around her waist, giving another short kiss to the smiling girl before he pulled back. "That was Sirius Black you were talking with? Did he said something? Should I talk to him?"

Marlene looked around; Sirius disappeared. She looked back at Collin with a roll of her eyes, "No, he didn't. And I can take care of myself."

"I know you can," he winked, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as they walked into the castle. "Not that I mind the way you dressed up," Collin said, his eyes roaming up and down on her body, "but shouldn't you wear your uniform? Or something warmer?"

"I wanted to change on the train. And I should. So be prepared for minus ten points from Slytherin by every teacher we meet."

"It's worth every single of them."

"Shut up," Marlene let out a short chuckle, gently hitting him in the shoulder before they made their way down to the dungeon.

* * *

The Gryffindor common room was crowded, as it always was on the first night after the Christmas break. Sirius spotted Lily near to the fireplace, sitting on the armchair of a sofa, sipping a tea and talking to Remus, who sat next to her; Mary and Dorcas cross-legged by the fire, on a fluffy rug. Sirius walked to them and plopped down on the armchair across them, heaving a sigh before he said,

"I talked with McKinnon."

Afraid of what she was about to hear, Lily asked. "And how it went?"

"Did you talk with Marlene?" James asked loudly, nearly shouting while he walked closer after he saw Sirius finally arrived. Lily let out a short breath and take another sip of her tea, while the two boys joined to them; Peter next to Remus and James, elbowing on the backrest of the armchair where Sirius sat.

"I just told Lily I did. And it went well, I guess."

Everyone sighed in relief after Sirius explained what they were exactly talking; clearly all of their friends had had enough of their bickering. They were just about to forget about the whole Marlene-thing, when Sirius added,

"I didn't know she has a boyfriend, though."

"Are you jealous?" Lily asked with a smug smile.

Sirius raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth, but before he could say no, James spoke up,

"I hate him so much."

"You know him?" Sirius looked up, and James walked around the armchair, sitting down the other armrest of the sofa.

"He's the Slytherin seeker. That's more than enough I should know about him."

Lily rolled her eyes and let out a short growl. "Aren't you bored of this stupid house rivalry? Your best friend is a Slytherin."

"Trust me, Wallis is a sneaky little shit. I warned Marlene. Don't know what she sees in him."

Mary laughed. "Have you looked at him lately? He looks like a runway model."

"A what?"

"The point is," Mary continued through Dorcas' laugh, who found James' confused expression very funny, "He is not just handsome. He has this body and face that you look at and you kind of fell in love with his look every time," she said with a dreamy voice, thinking of Collin and his blue eyes; he was tall, lanky but muscular, his dark blonde hair always perfectly in place. His smile warm and welcoming, which also helped him stealing so many girls' heart at Hogwarts.

"I agree," Dorcas said, who finally stopped laughing. "I'm into girls but I'm still sure he's the prettiest boy I've ever seen."

"You have a pretty bad judgement, ladies," James said, clearly offended as they called "the prettiest boy" someone else instead of him. "Don't you think, Pads?"

Sirius, who was quiet in the past minute, let out a sigh that sounded like he was truly bored. "I don't really give a shit about Mr Heartthrob," he stood up, rolling the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows. "Speaking of which…"

Lily followed his gaze and found the girl she was looking at; she was sitting by the window, reading.

"She's a smart girl. You don't have a chance with her."

Sirius arched an eyebrow. "Don't underestimate me."

* * *

There was something in Collin that made Marlene lose her mind sometimes. Despite of what everyone thought, it wasn't his look that made Marlene go crazy about him, even though, of course, his appearance was the first that caught her attention. Collin was unattainable. Not just because of his handsomeness; he simply seemed distant. If he didn't care about someone, he seemed as he could walk through that person without hesitation. A hundred girl could go on their knees and beg for him, but he wouldn't care about any of them if he had already another in his mind. He was polite to everyone, but he wasn't generally kind. Only a handful of people experienced how it felt when Collin cared about them; including Marlene.

And his kind words and caring smiles made Marlene feel like she was seeing the world through rose coloured glasses, although she didn't admit to herself. It's been three months they started dating, a few weeks before Christmas, and she still wasn't sure whether if she should be happy about it or not, that this boy made her feel so lost sometimes.

It was late night, long past midnight when they finally sneaked back into the castle. Luckily they didn't run into anyone on their way down to the dungeon, and the common room was empty as well. The few candle that was still burning gave an eerie light to the place, and they didn't bother to add more as they plopped down on a couch, not caring about it was cold there after the fire went out probably hours ago.

"You're a really shitty Head Boy, you know that?" Marlene smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Sneaking out for a date in the middle of the night."

Collin leaned closer, hands slowly sneaking around her as he said in a low voice, "You didn't like it?"

"I did," she barely whispered before closed the tiny gap between them.

Their kisses became more heated soon, more urgent, until the chilly common room didn't feel so cold anymore, or at all, and Marlene found herself pressed against the armrest; Collin's lips never leaving hers as he leaned above her. He stopped for a second, his hand sliding up from her knee to the top of her thigh, under her skirt, trying to part her legs. "Open up," he whispered against her neck, pressing small kisses on the thin skin.

Marlene parted her legs slowly, trying to empty her brain, but it wasn't as easy as she thought it would be. She let him kiss down her neck, open a few more buttons on her shirt to expose her breast, caress the inside of her thighs; she said nothing, until he tried to tug her underwear down.

"Collin, stop," she said suddenly, hands on his chest. He raised his head up and looked into her eyes.

"What's wrong?" his voice was soft, tugging a strand of hair behind her ear. "Seriously, what's wrong, Marlene? This isn't the first time you stop me. You aren't a virgin, are you?"

Marlene looked down for a moment before her eyes found his again, her hands clutching on his shirt. It was no more than a split second, but it said everything.

"You are," Collin went on, clearly surprised. He shifted a bit and let out a short laugh. "Well I have to tell, I didn't expect this."

"Just because I have a bad reputation…" Marlene tutted, pushing him off of her body and sitting up on the couch. Despite of she liked to flirt and indeed was in a lot of relationship already, she always quit before it could become too serious. And for now, sex was something that would make it serious.

She let out a sigh and adjusted her skirt, but her shirt remained unbuttoned as she stared her feet. Collin sat closer and placed his palm on her back, and since she didn't shift away from his touch, he started to talk,

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

"You didn't," Marlene looked up finally. "I just don't want you to handle this like it's a fucking joke."

"I don't," he smiled, cupping her cheek. "You know I don't."

Marlene leaned on his touch and nodded. She knew it was true; Collin never tried to push her into anything she didn't want to. "I know. I'm sorry."

Collin shook his head. "You don't have to be. And we don't have to do anything if you aren't ready."

He sounded honest, but Marlene was sure there was a shift in his voice that made her think he'll get bored very soon. It made her scared, because he didn't want to lose him. Maybe she shouldn't have care about it, but there was something in Collin that made Marlene lose her mind sometimes.

"I'm ready," she said confidently but in a low voice, before he kissed Collin passionately, until he gently pushed her back.

"Are you sure?"

Marlene merely gave a nod before her lips met again, and didn't let each other go in the next few hours.

* * *

After she finally woke up in the next morning, she was happy it was Saturday and didn't need to go to classes. She felt herself tired and sleep-deprived, even it was almost noon when she first opened her eyes. Her empty, growling stomach was the only thing that pulled her out of the bed; if she wasn't so hungry, she may just spent the whole day under her blanket.

Collin was her first thought and couldn't stop thinking about him and what happened last night. It wasn't perfect but he was nice and she truly had no reason to complain about it, but she still wasn't sure she made the right decision. And there was it; regret, not much but a tiny piece which was still enough to cast a shadow around her thoughts. She shouldn't have feel this way, Marlene knew it. She didn't even understand why she was unable to feel herself unconditionally happy.

A refreshing shower helped a bit, so after she put on some clothes, she swallowed her worries, forced a friendly smile, and walked down to the common room.

It was nearly empty, as most of the students were either outside, in the library, or having lunch. As always when she walked into a room, she felt the eyes on her back this time as well.

She spotted some of her friends on the couch nearby; she hurried to them and asked if they saw Collin somewhere, and by the look on their faces, she knew something was going on.

"Probably in the Great Hall or on Head Boy duties," Erica answered; her blonde locks falling on her back as she tilted her head. "Shouldn't you know where your boyfriend is?"

Marlene frowned. "I was just asking. What's your problem?"

"Nothing," she shrugged. "I just thought you should be more informed once your relationship became so… intimate."

The two boys around them snorted and chuckled, and Marlene felt she just got slapped in the face. She swallowed hard before she asked with no weakness in her voice,

"What are you talking about?"

Erica stood up and waved her hand. "Don't play the innocent, Marlene. It's better if you hear it from me: everyone knows what happened on that couch last night," she said with a smirk, nodding at a couch nearby. "Or was it this one? I hope not. Anyway, we get a really nice, detailed description from your boyfriend."

Marlene needed to collect all of her self-control to remain calm outside. She felt her hands shaking with anger, so she stuffed them into her robe pocket.

"And why is that bothering you? Are you jealous?" Marlene asked, a tiny smirk in the corner of her lips.

The blonde girl crossed her arms across her chest and snorted. "Why would I be jealous? Unlike you, at least I have some standards."

"Oh Merlin," Marlene laughed, then furrowed her brows in anger. "You're such a fucking hypocrite! You had more dicks in your hand than your own wand."

Erica's jaw dropped and before she could say anything, one of the boys, Kyle stood up and walked between them. "Okay, you should both calm down now."

"Maybe she shouldn't talk to me like I was a slut," Marlene said angrily, staring the blonde girl, her hand gripping her wand in her pocket.

"Maybe you shouldn't act like one," it wasn't Erica but Leo this time, who still sat calmly on the couch.

Marlene raised her eyebrows in surprise; then shook her head lightly. "I'm so done with all of you," she turned around and stormed out of the common room, trying to ignore her so-called friends' comments.

She hurried through the corridors, nearly running, on the verge of tears from the anger. There were so many thoughts inside her head it felt empty. Before she went in, she stopped in front of the door of the Great Hall and took some deep breaths in, trying to calm herself down and not look like someone who just managed to hold back her tears two seconds ago. When she was sure she looked somewhat casual, she walked inside, slowly but confidently to the Slytherin table. Just as in the common room, she felt eyes on her here as well, but now she was sure about the reason.

"Hi, love," Collin said sweetly, looking up at her.

"Hey, _love_ ,"she mimicked his words, causing him to frowning. "Can we talk?"

"Can I finish my lunch first? You should eat something…"

"No," Marlene cut him off. Collin looked at his friend on his left with slightly raised eyebrows, before he stood up and followed her girlfriend out of the hall, stopping near to a wall, next to the entrance.

"So, what is it?"

Marlene's eyes widened. "You seriously don't know?"

He only extended his arms questioningly, so Marlene went on. "Then maybe you should explain to me why everyone knows I slept with you last night."

Collin bowed his head and sighed, then slowly looked at her again. "Listen, Marlene,"

"Don't even try to lie," she cut him off. "Because they even know the circumstances and since I didn't tell anyone, it was you."

She saw Collin clenched his jaw a couple times before he bit his lip and stepped closer to place his hand on his arm, but Marlene stepped back.

"Okay, I maybe told a few people about it, but…"

"A few people!" Marlene shouted. "It happened a couple hours ago and you already had to talk about it?! It isn't something that everyone should know!"

Collin let out a weak snort. "Why, are you ashamed of it? Or ashamed of me? If you didn't want it…"

"Oh, no, don't you dare to blame this on me," she kept shouting, eyes filled with tears. "You know very well I'm not ashamed. I just thought it was something intimate, something only between you and me," she added, her voice lower and hoarse. Collin couldn't stop and rolled his eyes.

"I didn't know it will hurt you so much."

Marlene furrowed her eyebrows again. "What is this? Some kind of shitty apology?" As she get no answer, she continued after a short, painful laugh. "Well, thank you so much. Now everyone calls me a slut."

"Why do you even care?" Collin raised his voice now. "They called you a slut already."

In the moment he realized what he just said, he closed his for a few seconds, while the words stuck on Marlene's throat. Still, she was the one who broke the silence.

"You don't even see how much of an asshole you are, do you?" she asked in a low voice, before she turned around to leave.

She didn't wanted to go back to the Slytherin common room, but she didn't want to be alone either. The only thing she craved at the moment was a shoulder she could cry on, so she ran up to the seventh floor, not even noticing the pain in her legs until she stopped in front of the Fat Lady's portrait. She leaned against the wall with her shoulder and wiped her tears away, then stayed a little longer before she gave the password. Lily always kept her updated with them, and now she was really thankful for it.

The Gryffindor common room was even emptier than the Slytherin's. Only a few students stayed inside on this sunny Saturday, and now Marlene wasn't so sure she'll find Lily here. She hurried to the stairways anyway, but before she could reach it, she heard James' voice.

"Evan's isn't there."

Marlene turned around with a sigh, searching for James with her eyes. She found him soon next to Sirius on the couch, so she walked to them.

"If you're so updated with Lily's whereabouts, maybe you could tell me where she is."

"I don't know," James said slowly, eyes narrowed as now he was examining Marlene's face; her reddened eyes avoiding his. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Marlene said after a deep sigh with a fake smile. "I go and try to find her."

She just turned around, but James called after her. "You won't, she's on her prefect duties."

"Mate, it's honestly scary you know so much about her daily schedule without talking with her," Sirius sighed.

"I know it because Remus is there too, you idiot."

Marlene turned around to leave again without a word, but James quickly jumped up and grabbed her forearm. "What happened?"

She rolled her eyes before asked, "Haven't you heard?"

"No? What?"

Her eyes met with Sirius' who only shrugged.

"Then you will. Just go down to the Great Hall or something."

"Why? Have you done something stupid? Or really awkward? Because then I'd really like to know," James grinned, plopping back down on the couch.

"I'm not going to give that pleasure," she replied with a fake smile. "Have a nice day."

"Oh come on," James pulled her back once again. "At least stay here with us. I see something is bothering you, maybe we could cheer you up."

Marlene thought about it for a few seconds. She definitely didn't want to go back to her own common room, and finding Lily was also impossible right now. James' presence might even could make her feel better.

"Do you remember when we were kids and how you used to cheer me up when I was sad?"

James nodded. "Yes. I fell off of trees and stumbled over my own feet… would that make you feel better?"

"It might help."

"I'll pay for it to see," Sirius added, and Marlene let out a tiny smile finally. She sat down next to James and spent the next couple hours with the two boys, and for her surprise, they really made her feel a lot better. She didn't talk much though, she rather just listened their jokes.

And she definitely didn't talk with Sirius. As they promised, they stopped fighting, but they had absolutely no idea what they should say to each other whenever they were in the same room. If they said something to each other, it was quips or some bantering, but never too much, not anymore.

But now Marlene wasn't in the mood for joking, and Sirius knew.

Hours later when Remus returned but Lily didn't, he told Marlene she went down to the lake with some of her friends. As she still didn't wanted to go down to the dungeon but had enough of James and Sirius, she decided to go and find Lily now.

Sirius joined to her with the excuse he will have a date soon with a girl. Until they reached the sixth fifth floor, they walked in silence next to each other, and Marlene had no idea why he came with her.

Then he spoke up, "You really shouldn't give a shit about them, you know that, yeah?"

Marlene quickly turned her head towards him; for a split second she didn't know what he meant, but it made sense in the next moment. She looked away as they continued her way down. "So you heard it."

Of course he did. James was popular and had a lot of friends, but never cared about rumours, so even if there was something going around, it never really reached him. Sirius, on the other hand, always knew about everything – probably because he spent a lot of time around girls.

"Did you also hear that Collin was the one who told it to everyone?"

Sirius furrowed his eyebrows. "No."

She smiled sadly. "I know I shouldn't care, but it isn't so easy when most of my friends suddenly hate me just because of first time in my life I actually slept with, well, not even just someone, but with my boyfriend."

Her words caught Sirius off guard, but he tried his best to hide his surprise. "Nice friends."

"Tell me about it."

Soon they reached the big oak doors and stepped out the sunny yet chilly courtyard, where Sirius spoke up again, "I know it couldn't be easy."

Marlene stopped at his words and looked up at him, an eyebrow arched, but said nothing, so he went on.

"But seriously, why do you care? I mean…"

"If you're also going to say everyone thought I was a slut already," Marlene cut him off, crossing her arms across her chest, "I swear I'm going to curse you."

Sirius frowned. "What? No! Who even said that?"

Since Marlene only gave a shrug, Sirius asked again, "It was your boyfriend?"

"Ex-boyfriend."

He growled and shook his head. "James told he was a… sneaky little shit."

"Yeah, can't wait to hear him saying I told you so."

They fell in silence for another few seconds, before Sirius started again. "I just wanted to say that I thought you're the kind of person who honestly don't give a shit about what other people think of her."

"I don't."

"Then what changed this time?"

"They are my friends, Sirius! Or were… whatever," she sighed. "You know, it's one thing when random people talk behind my back, and another when I see my friends laughing at me. I don't care what they think about me, but I do care about my friends. And their opinion. And there isn't anything in the world I hate more than fake friends."

Sirius opened his mouth to answer, though he didn't really know what he should say, but thankfully, he just spotted Lily behind Marlene's back. Following his gaze, Marlene turned around, and was greeted by Lily's huge smile.

"We were just about to go and grab some dinner," she said after gave a quick hug to Marlene, and she just realized how hungry she was. "Want to join us?"

Marlene happily accepted the offer, so Lily hurried back to pick up Dorcas and Mary, while Sirius and Marlene walked back to the castle. She sat down at the Gryffindor table, Sirius in front of her while they waited for the girls.

He watched as she poured some pumpkin juice to herself as he said, "You know, maybe I misjudged you too."

She put the jug down and raised her eyebrows. "Don't go sweet on me now, Black."

"Don't get used to it," Sirius snorted, piling some smashed potatoes on his plate. "I'm just being generous, considering you're not in a good mood. Once you stop being so miserable, I'm going to demolish you."

Marlene chuckled into her goblet before she said, "Good luck."


	4. When Something Changed

Every Sunday morning students arrived late to the Great Hall for breakfast; everyone wanted to take the advantage and stay in bed as long as it was possible before Monday comes again, and they have no other choice but wake up in the earliest hours.

James Potter wasn't amongst them. He was always up early, and once he opened his eyes, there wasn't anything that could keep him on the sheets. He couldn't just stay in there and do nothing; no, he had way too much energy for that.

"You need a girlfriend, Prongs," Sirius said more than once after James dragged him out from under his blanket. As much as he wanted to leave the quiet dormitory, he didn't want to go down alone.

But no one ever was able to get Remus out of his bed. He either slept so deeply the whole castle could fall apart around him and he would just shift a little, pulling the blankets closer around himself. Or, when the others somehow managed to wake him up, he simply told them to fuck off and they knew it was better not to mess with him—unless they want to find themselves in the middle of a prank war. Again.

Peter was hard to wake up too, and even though he promised James he's coming, he's a wake, he fell back to sleep a half minute later.

It always took Sirius a long time to relax enough to sleep, and he would wake up at the smallest noises during the night. Sometimes he woke up late, sometimes he woke up early; either way, once he was up, he didn't like to go back to sleep again. When for long years the first and last thing you hear is your mother's shouts, you can't relax so easily even in your own bed, even when you don't have to hear her anymore. His sleeping schedule was a complete mess, and sometimes he couldn't see the end of it.

Sirius wasn't surprised when they found the hall nearly empty—only a few early birds were there to get some food. He glanced at his watch: 7:13.

They sat down to the Gryffindor table; James was constantly talking while Sirius just tried to wake himself up, yawning and drinking coffee. But soon enough, his mood got better as two girls joined to them—one from Gryffindor and someone from Ravenclaw. The girls talked and giggled a lot, but after a while, only Sirius entertained them, as James couldn't take his eyes off Marlene.

She walked into the Great Hall with one of her friend and as she looked into his direction, James waved to her, but he merely got a small nod in answer. Maybe she smiled too, but if she did, it was so tiny he couldn't even see from there. His thoughts immediately wandered back to yesterday, when they tried to cheer Marlene up…

"James? Are you listening to me?"

Slowly, James turned his head away from the Slytherins' table and looked at the blonde Ravenclaw on his right. "Yeah, sorry—what were you saying?"

The girl let out a small sigh, but went on anyway. "I was just asking if you… so I thought we could go Hogsmeade together next weekend."

James nodded. "Sure, Bonnie, good idea—"he started, but looked at Sirius across the table in the next moment, "What's wrong with Marlene?"

"Why? Do you like her?" Bonnie asked before Sirius could answer anything, but tried to hide the jealousy from her voice with a laugh, bumping her shoulder into his.

"Yeah, I do, she's my best friend."

She huffed at his serious tone, but also felt a rush of relief, as James referred to Marlene only as a friend. "Well, if you want to know, she and his boyfriend broke up."

James raised his eyebrows in surprise. "I didn't know. What happened? Wait—how do _you_ know?"

The girl next to Sirius chuckled. "Everyone knows. Collin broke up with her because Marlene said she never loved him and all she cared about sex. Poor Collin, he loved her so much!" she added with a sad frown.

"That makes no sense, Maggie," Bonnie rolled her eyes. "Marlene broke up with Collin because she cheated on him with one of his best friends."

"Oh, because that makes so much sense!"

While the girls continued to argue about all the rumours they heard, trying to decide what the truth was, the boys exchanged a tired glance.

But soon, James turned around to see Marlene—even from across the room, he could tell she was still in a bad mood. Her forced smiles always betrayed her, and James was worrying about her. Seeing his concern, Sirius stood up from the table,

"Ladies, if you'll excuse, we need to go," he said and James immediately followed him, but Maggie quickly grabbed Sirius' arm.

"Can I see you later?"

Sirius swallowed hard, but chocked back a growl and smiled at the girl. "Sure. Three pm in the common room?"

The Gryffindor girl nodded happily, while Bonnie looked questioningly at James. Knowing what she wanted to ask, James quickly said, "Sorry, I have Quidditch practice. But it was good to see you."

They hurried out of the Great Hall, carefully avoiding each other's eyes. Only when they left the room Sirius looked at James with a grin, "You don't have Quidditch practice today."

"And you have detention from three."

Sirius let out a loud gasp and put his palm over his heart. "Oh, no! I guess I can't see her then, what a shame…"

James said nothing but laughed, shaking his head, so Sirius went on. "Seriously though, I have an excuse. I already slept with this girl. What's yours? I mean—Bonnie is one of the prettiest witches here. A dirty little minx," he grinned. "Why don't you go for it?"

They continued their walk up on a moving staircase and James adjusted his glasses before he shrugged, "I'm not interested."

Sirius threw his head back with a sigh. "And Lily isn't interested in you. Get over it. Half of the girls here would die for you. The other half is mine, and notice I was _really_ generous—"

They almost reached the fourth floor when James suddenly turned on his heels and cut Sirius off, "I have to go back to talk to Marls."

"Wait, stop," Sirius grabbed James' shoulder to stop him, and started to talk before he could say anything, "She slept with Wallis on the other night and the next day, that asshole told everybody about it. And believe me, he didn't speak about her in the nicest way. I personally heard him saying to someone he doesn't understand why she tried to make him believe she was a virgin, when she obviously wasn't—she was, before you ask. I don't think she knows, but he lied a lot to her. I heard it from some girls. And she's also upset because her friends are being rude with her about it."

A few students walked past them as they were standing there in the middle of the staircase, while James stared him for a few seconds in silence. He leaned against the cold stone railings, before he shook his head, "Okay, but how would you know all of this? How do you know they aren't just rumours too?"

"Because Marlene told me."

"Yeah, sure," James laughed, but Sirius said nothing in answer, and silence settled between them. James' smile slowly disappeared and he shook his head, like he wasn't sure he heard him right, before he straightened up, "Marlene told _you_ something so personal? To you. Marlene McKinnon. To you."

Now that he thought about it, Sirius didn't understand why Marlene were so open with him, even if she only told him a few things. But instead of voicing his confuse, he only rolled his eyes. "Yes, get over it."

They continued their way up on the stairs in silence. James still couldn't believe how that was that possible that Marlene, who never liked to talk about anything too personal to people who wasn't close enough to her, told something like this to Sirius. A couple months ago they couldn't even stay in the same room without ending up in a huge fight. What changed?

But there was something else that concerned him at the moment, and he felt as he was getting more and more angrier as he thought about it.

"I'm going to kick that prick off his broomstick our next game."

Sirius arched an eyebrow. "Why would you wait until then?"

A mischievous smile slowly hovered over James' lips as he stopped, "My friend, are you saying you have some plans?"

Sirius grinned back at him. "I always have some plans."

With that, they quickly changed their direction and ran down on the stairs.

* * *

The worst part wasn't the rumours, or that she needed to listen catcalling even more often than before; Marlene get used to them a long time ago. The worst part was that Collin acted like nothing ever happened between them. He kept flirting with other girls in front of her, carefully avoiding Marlene's eyes. In fact, he completely avoided her existence. He didn't say hello, he didn't even look at her while he walked past her.

As a Head Boy and the Slytherin seeker, Collin spent a lot of time outside of the common room for Marlene's relief; she knew it will be easier to move on when she didn't need to see his face every hour.

But she was still surprised when she didn't see him at any of their classes on Monday. Collin wasn't someone who just skipped a whole day, even when he got a little sick. She was suspicious, but she let it go soon, enjoying every minute she didn't have to see that disgusting smile of his.

After her classes, but before dinner, Marlene decided she'd go up to the Hospital Wing, checking if Madam Pomfrey needs any help. She was tired, but she didn't fancy the idea to go back to the common room, or her dormitory, that she shared with the two girls who looked at her with the most judging glances.

Saying she was shocked when she opened the door would be an understatement. The first thing that caught her eyes was as enormous elephant trunk, hanging next to one of the beds. Then her eyes wandered up, and she saw the owner of the snout: it was Collin, thought she could hardly see his head.

She stood frozen at the door, jaw dropped while she tried to process the image in front of her eyes. She barely took a step closer, when Madam Pomfrey hurried closer to her,

"Oh, dear, thank you for coming, but I don't think you can help here today," she said, throwing a worried glance at the boy behind her.

Slowly, a smile started to appear on Marlene's face. "Uhmm… what happened to him?"

"Don't even ask!" she waved her hands. "Three of his friends needed to carry him up here. I couldn't sleep all night because of the noises he made! Oh, just wait until I get my hands on those who did this! I've never seen anything like this before!"

At this point, Marlene needed to cover her mouth with her palm to hide her laugh. "That's really, so terrible."

"It is!" The matron yelled in disbelief. "I couldn't find any counter-spell to do this back! Now, Professor Slughorn is trying to make a potion, but I wouldn't build my hopes up—"

She was cut off by Collin's loud cry that echoed in the whole room, and Madam Pomfrey growled, turning around after she told Marlene it's better if she leaves now.

Marlene couldn't wipe the grin off her face while she left the wing and hurried down on the stairs, yet when she reached the Great Hall, she chocked back her laughs, trying to seem casual. She walked in; it was dinner time, hence the room was noisy, packed with students and teachers.

She walked past the Slytherin table and only stopped in front of James,

"Do you mind if I join you?"

His mouth full, James only shook his head as a no, though he exchanged a small glance with Sirius, who sat next to him, while Marlene plopped down next to Remus. Piling some smashed potatoes on her plate, she finally spoke up,

"You know, I was just wondering," she started, pouring some juice into her goblet, "Do you have any idea why Collin is lying in the Hospital Wing with a giant elephant trunk on his face?"

Sirius swallowed back a laugh, while James said, "Merlin, no! What happened to him? Is he okay, though?"

Marlene rolled her eyes. "James, stop it. You're the worst liar."

"That's not true!" he argued with a mouthful of chicken, before Remus cleared his throat.

"Hey, James, is it true that you are you hopelessly in love with Lily Evans?"

James snorted. "No, it isn't. Who is Lily Evans anyway? Is he a new teacher—oh, shut up, you lot," he growled angrily and put his fork down, as everyone around him started to laugh.

"Madam Pomfrey is raging, you know," Marlene continued. "She and Slughorn together weren't enough to make that snout disappear yet."

"Nice job, Padfoot," Peter laughed, chewing on a slice of apple pie.

Marlene frowned hard and looked at Sirius immediately. "You did this?!"

Everyone looked at him, but Sirius only shrugged. "It's my spell. Couldn't risk and let Prongs to do it, yeah?"

Sirius continued his dinner like nothing happened, but Marlene stared him, awestruck by the fact… did he just… hexed someone? Because of her? It seemed surreal. Why would he do anything because of her?

"Anyway… how are you?" James asked in a more serious tone after a while, and even though Sirius still didn't look up, he was listening the conversation.

"I'm fine," Marlene lied, and James knew she was lying, but he also knew he couldn't make her tell the truth if she doesn't want to. "One thing for sure, I'll never date with a Head Boy again."

James let out a loud gasp. "But wait if I will be the Head Boy?"

Marlene chuckled, knowing he was only joking, but she went on with it anyway. "First of all: eww."

He extended his arms and looked down on himself, "Really? Eww?"

With a roll of her eyes, she went on, "Well, no offense, James, but chances you'll became a Head Boy are even lower than Sirius will ask someone out to a second date."

"Hey!" Sirius pointed his index finger at her. "Well, yeah, that's true."

They looked at each other for a second, before Marlene burst out into a loud laugh that she was trying to hold since she walked into the Great Hall. "Oh, you should've seen Collin's face."

"I have," Sirius said with a grin. "I even risked to get caught. Although, maybe one of his friends saw me there…"

Soon, it turned out he was right. Marlene, James, and Sirius stayed at the Great Hall long after they finished their dinner; talking and laughing. The three of them just left the Great Hall and stopped in the entrance hall, when they heard Madam Pomfrey's screech,

"Black! Potter!"

"Oh, man, we're trouble," James mumbled under his breath and ran his fingers through his hair, watching as the matron stormed closer and closer. "Ok, you talk."

"What?! Why me?" Sirius asked, but before James could give an answer, she already reached them. "Madam Pomfrey! What a pleasure to see—"

"Oh, don't give me that innocent smile of yours. Is it true that you and Mr Potter hexed Collin Wallis?"

"No, of course not!"

Madam Pomfrey sighed, her eyes throwing draggers. "Now, listen to me. You two sent more of my students in the Hospital Wing than everybody else before. But this – that is too much even from you!"

"Excuse me," Marlene stepped closer with a smile. "But they really couldn't do it this time. I spent the whole day with them yesterday. Surely I'd noticed if they hex him, don't you think?

She frowned. She liked Marlene, and she didn't see any reason she would lie—she heard her complain about James and Sirius multiple times. "Well… if you are truly sure."

"I am."

Madam Pomfrey took a last look at the boys. "I will keep an eye on you."

They didn't dare to say a word until she disappeared, only changed small glanced. When James was sure she was out of earshot, he asked,

"Did you just… save our ass?"

Marlene turned to him slowly. "I don't approve any kind of bully, James. But you hexed a _Head Boy_ and none of the teachers knows the counter-spell. You were in big trouble."

"You saved our ass," James' grin widened, causing Marlene to roll her eyes.

"For the first and last time."

"By the way—why is that so special that he is a Head Boy? I'm a Qudditch captain, but I think Madam Pomfrey would be even happy if someone would finally hex me."

Marlene chuckled before she said, "Well, don't you worry about that. Besides Remus no one's got enough nerve to hex you."

"What about me?" Sirius asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"You're too in love with James to hurt him," she replied, and he only laughed with a roll of his eyes.

"Well, thank you for trying to cheer me up and all. I really appreciate it," this time she was talking to James, and only gave a mere second to look into Sirius' eyes before she said goodbye and left.

James watched her while she walked down on the staircase to the dungeon, then at Sirius, then back at Marlene before his hazel eyes finally stopped on Sirius, a silent gasp leaving his mouth, "You like her."

Sirius' eyes widened in surprise. "I don—no. I don't."

James' grin widened. "Merlin, you really like her!"

Sirius didn't understand his friend, and didn't even want to as he let out huge sigh, "Listen, Prongs. I know you really want this to happen. I am your friend. She is your friend. But—for a fuck's sake, stop grinning at me like this!"

He bit back his smile and raised his palms defensively. "You don't have to lie to me, Pads."

"Just because I don't hate her _so much_ , it doesn't mean I like her."

"Yeah, sure, mate," James said with a nod and patted Sirius' shoulder, trying not to laugh while Sirius still looked him with a shocked expression. What was wrong with him, he didn't understand. He didn't like Marlene, he never did, and he was sure he never will. They were just too different.

* * *

It took her a little while to move on, but after a couple months Marlene finally only saw his ex-boyfriend as a bad memory. It was also comforting to know from this summer, she never have to see him ever again, as it was Collin's last year at Hogwarts.

The first week of June was sunny, hot but windy, and everyone wished they could just leave the school and finally go home. Instead of this, students still needed to sit between the cold walls of castle and study for their exams, only watching the nice weather from the window.

Sirius woke up late. He almost never slept through the whole morning, but the past few days were just too long with the full moon and his exams; he spent a whole night with roaming the woods before he went straight to his Transfiguration exam—and passed with Outstanding. He decided he deserves some good, deep sleep after this.

After he grabbed some lunch but found his friends nowhere, he went up to the Hospital Wing to visit Remus. The last full moon was tough for him, and he ended up with too many scars and other injuries, yet he completely forget about this when his grey eyes stopped on Marlene.

She was sitting next to a bed, applying bandages on a kid's forearm—probably a first year judging by his look and his shy smile. He stood in the middle of the room, trying to put two and two together, before Marlene finally stood up, and his grey eyes met her blue ones. Then he walked closer, following her as she went to the sink to wash her hands.

"What are you doing here?"

His voice wasn't friendly but suspicious, almost commanding, and Marlene let out a loud sigh, ignoring his question. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I'm here to visit my friend," he answered and gestured towards Remus, who could barely be seen under his blankets. "And you…?"

Marlene looked him in silence for a while, drying her hands with a small towel. "I just help around here."

"Why? Are you in detention?"

With a growl, she walked away from him. "No, I'm not."

She crossed the room in a fast pace, but Sirius was on her heels. "So you're here of your own, free will?"

Marlene stopped next to a girl with a roll of her eyes, asking if she was okay, before straightened up again, but nearly bumped into Sirius as he was so close to her.

"Ever heard of personal space?"

"I just don't understand," Sirius said with an honest surprise on his face. "Do you get something for this? Money? Extra credits?"

Sirius saw as anger flashed through her blue eyes and he took a small step back, whilst Marlene crossed her arms across her chest. "Do you seriously think I'd only help to others if I could get something back in return?"

"Well, I mean, I just—"

"Listen, just get the hell out of here and leave me alone," she cut him off and turned around, but he followed her again.

"You can't throw me out of the Hospital Wing, McKinnon," Sirius snorted, and Marlene looked at him with a sweet smile that always told others how wrong they were.

"Actually, I can. Since I'm officially helping here and you're distracting me—"

"Ok, ok," Sirius cut her off and raised his arms defensively. "I just want to see Remus, so…"

He'd already turned on his heels, but Marlene grabbed his upper arm and pulled him back. It caught him off guard and he almost fall against her, but she quickly stepped back. "What—"

"Listen. He's in pain. He was awake all night, and he just fell asleep like an hour ago. So _please_ , leave him alone now."

She looked with so much intensity into his eyes Sirius couldn't look away for long seconds, until her hand left his arm. Then he glanced at Remus, then back at Marlene, who seemed she was still angry at him. Considering this, he only spoke up in a low voice, "So… you know… that he's—"

"Yes, I know."

"And you know that me… and James…"

"What?" she asked with a frown again.

"Never mind," Sirius shook his head, figuring out she probably doesn't knew about their little secret.

Marlene left him once again and walked to the back of the room, putting some potions back in their place into a cupboard, but she barely started it when she heard Sirius' voice again, "So…"

She turned around with a sigh. "What?"

"Can I ask again why you are here without you wanting to chop my head off?"

Marlene shifted a bit and looked around the room, fighting an internal battle with herself about whether if she should talk with him about these things or not. Then, before she could stop herself, she just started to talk. "I was on detention here at the start of the year. It was only two weeks, but… I don't know," she shrugged. "I kind of stuck here. It's really rewarding, you know? I mean, I know it isn't like life depends on me, but still… I can make these people feel better."

"That's nice," Sirius said but then cleared his throat. "I mean, considering it's you…"

Marlene rolled her eyes and turned around, but couldn't refrain a smile. "Now get out of here before I transfigure you into a bedpan."

Sirius left with a smile on his lips, and he was sure he has never been so confused in his life.


	5. Something Old & Something New

"Are you sure about this?" Lily yelled behind Marlene's back with an excited grin on her lips, her hand in hers as they tried to fight their way through the crowded King's Cross.

"Calm down," Marlene mumbled under her breath, forgetting about her friend surely couldn't hear her at the noisy train station. Finally, she spotted her mother; she was stretching her neck, trying to peer over the crowd, looking for her daughter. Her face relaxed when she finally saw Marlene, and a few seconds later she enveloped her with a tight hug, almost squeezing all the air out of her lungs. But Marlene didn't complain about it; she has always had a close relationship with her mother—she was her best friend, and she missed her terribly sometimes.

After they finally pulled back, Helen's eyes fell on the redhead behind Marlene. She stepped forward as Marlene introduced her, "Mom, she's my friend, Lily Evans."

"Oh, I've heard so much about you!" her mother said, and Lily let out a kind smile, reaching out her hand,

"It's really nice to meet you, Mrs McKinnon."

But the woman ignored Lily's hand and pulled the girl into a hug as well. "Don't be silly, dear. Just call me Helen," she said after she stepped back. "Mrs McKinnon! It makes me feel so old."

Marlene rolled her eyes with a smile. "Where's dad?"

"He must be here somewhere with the Potters," Helen started, looking around the station still filled with people. "You know what happens when he starts to talk with Fleamont…" she waved her hand and smiled, and she noticed when the girls exchanged a small glance. She gave a curious look with her brown eyes, before Marlene spoke up,

"Mom, would it be okay if Lily spent the last two weeks before school with us? She could come for my birthday—"

"Of course it would be okay," she cut her off with a wave of her hand, causing the girls to exchange a happy smile, before Helen turned to Lily. "You're welcome in our home any time you want."

Lily thanked them but quickly said goodbye, as she noticed her parents in the crowd. Marlene left with her mother, trying to find her father at the station. They spotted him near to the exit—it seemed they were in a deep discussion about something with Fleamont, while Euphemia, James, and Sirius stood close to them.

Helen leaned down a bit with a tiny smile, her voice low as she said to Marlene, "So she's the girl James likes so much?"

Marlene's jaw dropped. "How do you know?"

"Oh, well," she chuckled, "He talks about her in every of his letter to Fleamont. Don't tell him I told you that, I'm not sure he'd be happy about it…"

Biting her bottom lip, Marlene chocked back a laugh. "Why would I do that?"

* * *

The last week of June passed quickly. Marlene spent her days with sleeping late, reading some books, and meeting with friends; it was August too soon, but she didn't mind it. Lily will stay with them for the rest of the summer, and her 17thbirthday was around the corner—maybe she could even threw a little party, if her parents let her…

It was a great summer, everything went nice and well, until they got a letter from Marlene's brother.

"But sweetie," Helen sighed, sitting on the couch with a letter in her hand, her husband next to her. "You know how hard it is for Mark to get a free week."

"And you know I was waiting for this week for a month," Marlene replied angrily, her arms crossed across her chest, her legs folded as she was sitting in the armchair. "Why can't they visit us?"

"You know it isn't so easy to travel with a baby."

Marlene missed her brother. Even before they settled down in Paris with her wife, as a Curse-Breaker, he used to travel a lot after he left Hogwarts. They loved each other, and tried to stay close to each other, but the ten year age difference ensured they could never really stay together for long. When Marlene was one year old, Mark started his studies at Hogwarts. When Marlene got her letter, her brother just finished his Curse-Breaker course.

"You could spend your birthday in Paris," her father spoke up with a kind smile, trying to cheer her daughter up—only make it worse.

"I don't want to spend my birthday in Paris! I want to spend my birthday with my friends!"

Her parents exchanged a smile—they knew Marlene won't be happy when she hears it. And this is why they had a long conversation before they showed the letter to Marlene.

"If you really don't want to come with us," Helen started slowly. "You can stay, but—"she stopped and raised her hand, as Marlene already let out a loud, excited gasp, "Only if you stay with the Potters."

"But—no! I mean, you know Lily will come here, right?"

"Marlene, I'm not going to let you stay alone in here, while… while all these mysterious disappearances are happening," she added with a lower voice, a concerned shadow on her face. Something was definitely happening in the wizarding world, and while a lot of people still refused to acknowledge it, the McKinnon family knew as blood traitors, they will never be safe.

"Twinky will look after me," Marlene said, nodding at their house-elf who just walked into the room with a teapot, placing it down to the coffee table. She looked up at Marlene with a determined smile, but Helen stood up,

"I'm not going to let you here alone with a house elf while you can't even use your wand!"

Saying Marlene was shocked would be an understatement. It was only a couple times she heard her mother shouting, and only once or twice when it was because of her.

Her husband put a comforting hand on her shoulder and made her to sit down again. After a silent minute, she finally spoke up again,

"I'd sleep better if you stay at the Potters. After Lily arrives," she started, then let out a long sigh, "I don't mind if you come home. But only if you let Euphemia to check on your every day."

Marlene didn't want to argue with her mother, nor making her to worry herself sick, so she nodded. "Okay. I'll stay with them."

* * *

And two days later Marlene already found herself standing in the middle of the Potters Manor's living room, her parents talking with Euphemia and Fleamont a few feet away from her. She watched the photograph frames on the dresser. There were many of them, but only of a few people; besides the Potter family, only the McKinnons and Sirius got a place there.

Before she could lost in her thoughts too deeply, Marlene already found herself in hug by both of her parents, making her to promise again she will be a good girl and will behave herself. She rolled her eyes, but promised them anyway, before gave her mother another hug.

After they left, Euphemia walked to Marlene, "Come with me, I'll show you your room."

"Don't worry," she waved her hand. "I still remember this house too well."

Euphemia smiled thankfully and stroked Marlene's upper arm. "I'm so glad you and James are friends again. Oh, by the way, they went down to the lake. Why don't you join them?"

Marlene smiled and walked up to the guest room on the third floor, and as she opened the door, memories from her childhood overwhelmed her. There was nothing much in this bedroom, yet it was full of little signs that showed how much time she spent here; like the little burned spot on the tapestry next to the window, after James stole his dad's wand and they tried to play with it. Or the picture hanging on the wall that they drew together – Marlene walked closer to took it off and she smiled when she saw the hole in the wall. It happened after their first year, when she tried to levitate James, but he accidentally kicked a hole into the wall. Instead of telling what happened, they drew a picture about themselves and James' parents, because they knew Euphemia would love it, even though it looked ridiculous. Marlene smiled and felt sorry for her, but hanged up the picture anyway.

After she undressed and took her bikini on, she draped a towel around her shoulders and left the house through the backdoor. She walked the through the big, beautiful garden, full brushes, trees, and every kind of flowers, until she saw the boys near the lake; Sirius resting his back again the old willow tree, James lying on the grass.

"Good morning," she greeted them as they didn't seem to notice her first. They both looked up at her voice, but Sirius was the first who spoke up, his eyes running down on her,

"Well, that would be a nice sight to wake up."

His comment surprised her and she frowned, but ignored him and pulled the towel off her shoulders; and just as she wanted to sit down, James grasped her forearm.

"Hey, what are you doing? You have to come into the lake with me!"

Marlene sighed. "James, I literally woke up twenty minutes ago. Let me rest."

"You either come with me willingly, or—"

"Don't even think about it," Marlene cut him off, her voice firm, her eyes flashing angrily. James knew these eyes. Everybody knew these eyes. But despite of everyone else would back off, James didn't care and threw Marlene over his shoulder.

Marlene shrieked, "I'm going to kill you!"

James laughed, but started to walk towards the lake anyway. "You got heavier since the last time we did this."

"I'm so going to kill you," she repeated, hitting James' back with both of her hands. She heard Sirius' laughs, which only made her angrier, but in the next moment she found herself in the lake, pulling James with herself.

After long minutes of fighting who can hold the other under the water, they were walking on the grass again, out of breath, from both exhaustion and laughing.

"I hate you so much, James," Marlene said, trying to choke back a laugh while she dried her hair with the towel.

"Yeah, are you sure about that? Because you said you'll kill me, yet here I am," he grinned, blindly trying to find his glasses on the grass.

"Wait for it," she replied with a sweet smile. "I'll be 17 soon and when I can use mine wand—"

"Your birthday!" James cut him off, his voice excited. "It's on August 21th, isn't it? We should threw a party."

Marlene shook her head and handed his glasses to him. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Thanks—Why? You'll be seventeen! Don't you want to celebrate it?"

"Yes, I do. And I will. With Lily," she said and lied down on the ground, her eyes closed.

"Oh, and would you leave us out of the fun?" Sirius asked this time, but Marlene easily shrugged as she replied,

"Without a second thought."

"Oh, come on, Marlene," James nudged her, causing Marlene to sighing loudly. "It would be so great! Your house is empty. Sirius looks old enough so he could buy some Firewhisky. What else do you want? Oh, we have fireworks too."

Marlene elbowed herself up in a half sitting position to look at the boys; both grinning at her. She rolled her eyes with a smile before she said, "Fine. But since my parents aren't home, and I promised them I'll tell everything to yours, you will tell your parents about the party."

James waved. "Don't worry about that."

"Ok, lover boy," Marlene rolled her eyes.

Sirius snorted, but James looked confused. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, I don't know," Marlene said, a smirk hiding on the corner of her lips while she sat up. "Maybe I just heard you talk about Lily in your letters to your dad every time."

James picked up a leaf from the ground and started to tear it into pieces. "Very funny, seriously," he said while Marlene and Sirius laughed, "And not in every letter, okay?"

"Every second?"

They laughed again, but as James just looked at the ground, shaking his head, Marlene tried to talk to him, "C'mon James—"

"It isn't funny, you know? You think it's a good joke but I don't care if you like it or not, I really like this girl. You can laugh at me," he said angrily and suddenly, he was on his feet, walking away from them.

It caught her off guard, and Marlene and Sirius exchanged a quick glance, before they followed James with their eyes. He stopped as far away from them as he could by the lake, before he started to throw rocks into the water.

"Do you think we should go and apologize?"

"Nah," Sirius grumbled. "You think it's the first time we start to mock at him because of Lily and he keeps sulking in the corner?"

Marlene furrowed her eyebrows. "That's not really nice of you."

"Well, listening all night long he's crushing over Lily isn't really nice either. Sometimes when we're at Hogwarts I feel like I can't even fall asleep anymore without knowing what her breakfast was."

Marlene laughed. "I think that's cute."

"Cute?" Sirius asked in disbelief as he sat up, resting his back against the tree. "He's pathetic. Evans doesn't want anything from him. I keep telling him he should move on and forget about his crush, but do you think he cares about what am I saying?"

Marlene just smiled. "I think it's more than a crush by now, don't you think?"

"Oh, come on," Sirius grumbled again with a roll of his eyes, but didn't say more.

Now that she could have a closer look at his body, Marlene noticed something she failed to see before. There were plenty of scars on his skin; white, healed, but deep cuts that seemed never will disappear. She didn't want to ask where he got them, but as Sirius noticed her blue eyes fixed on him, she quickly said the first thing that came into her mind,

"Got a new tattoo?"

She watched the little moving footprints around her hipbone but regretted her decision soon, feeling heat rising up on her cheeks as her eyes wandered so low. Sirius tried to bit back a smug grin, but failed miserably. "Don't you like it?"

Marlene shrugged. "I don't understand. I mean, footprints? Is that supposed to mean something?"

"If I tell you I have to kill you," Sirius started with a sigh. "And as much as I'd love to do that, I don't want to end up in Azkaban yet."

" _Yet_?"

"I'm living a wild life, McKinnon, I can never know for sure," he shrugged with a grin, and Marlene chuckled, too. "Now come on, we have to try to cheer this idiot up somehow."

Cheering James up was never difficult. You didn't even have to say sorry – a few jokes and he was already smiling, a few laughs and he was already the one who made the jokes. After lunch, they spent the next hour with writing a few invitation, then sending the letters to their friends with Twinky, as it was the fastest way right now.

They played Qudditch until dinner, and by the time they get into their beds, they were tired enough to fall asleep quickly.

* * *

A loud noise woke Marlene up out of a deep sleep that gave her a headache instantly. She almost fell off the bed when James flung the door open, causing it to hit the wall with a loud bang.

"Marlene, you're not going to believe this," James said as he walked into the room, Sirius following him.

But Marlene just sat here with closed eyes and her palm over her forehead. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't threw you out of the window."

"I give you two good reasons. One—"

"Wait, I don't care," Marlene cut him off and lied back on the bed, pulling the blanket over her head. "Get out!"

She heard James' loud sigh, then she felt as he sat down on the bed next to her. "Come on Marls, it's almost noon."

But Marlene only murmured something under her breath that no one could hear, so James leaned closer to shout into her ear, "Wake up!"

Marlene just wanted ignore him, but as she felt he wanted to pull the blanket off her, she quickly grabbed his wrist—only it wasn't James but Sirius, but by the time she noticed it, she already pulled him down on the bed. Since it take Sirius by surprise, he nearly fell on top of her.

"Woah, easy there McKinnon, we aren't there yet."

She growled and pushed him off the bed, throwing daggers at James with her eyes while she sat up. "At least knock next time."

"Sorry, I got overexcited," he grinned, bouncing up and down on the bed. "Look what I got."

Marlene shifted a yawn, still trying to rub the sleepiness out of her eyes while she took the little red pin out of James' palm. "Is this the big news? You're Quidditch Captain again?"

James shook his head as a no, still grinning. "No. I mean yeah, I'm Quidditch Captain too, again, but that was obvious."

Marlene sighed, but lifted up the badge again. Her mouth dropped in surprise when she saw the golden letters said "Head Boy", and not "Captain".

"No."

"Yes."

"No," Marlene shook her head and gave the badge back to James. "I don't buy this. You enchanted this."

James laughed again, while pulled something out of his pocket. "I knew you're going to say this—I have to tell you it hurts though—but here's my letter too."

Marlene read through the letter with Dumbledore's nice, cursive handwriting, and as much as she still had her doubts, it seemed true: James was the new Head Boy. She looked up at Sirius questioningly, who extended his arms.

"Don't look at me like that, I don't understand either."

Marlene took a last glance at the letter before she gave it back to James. "Dumbledore must be high when he wrote this."

"Ha ha ha. You're so funny, really," James rolled his eyes and adjusted his glasses, but couldn't wipe the grin off his face. "Do you think Lily will be the Head Girl?"

"And here we are," they heard as Sirius mumbled under his breath, before he sat up on the windowsill.

"I don't know," Marlene replied. "But I already feel sorry for her."

With a tired sigh, James stood up from the bed. "Just laugh at me, but like it or not, I'm a Head Boy now. I can put you in detention."

"Oh, I'd love to see you try," Sirius said while James left the room, and Marlene fell back on the sheets, pulling the blanket on herself again. She closed her eyes, but after long seconds passed without hearing any footsteps, she spoke up,

"It's really romantic, Black. Do you want to watch me fall asleep?"

Marlene heard him slipping off the windowsill, walking towards the door. "I'm not the one who tried to drag you into my bed, McKinnon."

After Marlene climbed out of the bed so late, this day passed quickly again. She didn't mind it though; spending so much time with James and Sirius started to get on her nerves.

The third and the last day she needed to spend in the Potter's house was rainy and gloomy, so she didn't have a chance but stay inside.

Still, they spent the day separately. The boys in James' room, Marlene in hers; they only met at breakfast and lunch. It was late afternoon when she left the bedroom again, after she get bored of doing nothing but reading. She opened the door of James' room without knocking, and her eyes widened in surprise,

"Where did you… how… why is there a dog in your room?"

James froze. He was sitting in his chair, staring Marlene, then the huge, black dog in front of him, sitting in the middle of his room. "He uhm… you know, it's just… I found him in the garden."

"And you took him into your room?"

"Well, I couldn't leave him there in this weather," James shrugged, but avoided Marlene's eyes. "Don't worry, he's a really good dog."

At James words, the dog started to wiggle his tail and Marlene chuckled, walking closer. She didn't have to lean down to stroke his head. "He looks well fed. I don't think it's a stray, but do you know anyone nearby who has a dog like this one?"

"No, I don't," James shook his head, his eyes fixed on Padfoot, who seemingly really enjoyed as Marlene kept petting his head. She plopped down on the floor soon, and the dog rolled on his back, causing James to nearly shout, "Sirius—"then, when he realized what he was about to say, he quickly added, "ly. Seriously! What an affectionate little bastard."

But Marlene only laughed, giving him a belly rub. "I think he's adorable."

"Yeah. Adorable," yes mumbled, watching this scene in front of his eyes that seemed so absurd.

"Speaking of affectionate little bastards," Marlene said and stopped stroking the dog, "Where's Sirius?"

The dog gave a low growl and got on his feet, walking far away from Marlene, before James started, "He's… erm, went to visit his… grandpa. At St. Mungo's."

"You're still the worst liar," Marlene said, sitting up on James' bed. For a long minute, silence settled between them; they could only hear the raindrops drumming against the window pane.

"James?" Marlene broke the silence. "I'm really sorry we laughed at you the other day. We really shouldn't—"

"Forget it," James shrugged with a forced smile, but added a couple seconds later, "It just feels like shit, you know? I know I don't stand a chance with her. But I still like her, you know? I know I should give up on her and move on, but it isn't as easy as you all think. I really like Lily. I really do."

Marlene watched James as he kept rapping his knuckles against his desk, staring off the distance. The always confident James Potter looked so tiny and vulnerable like this.

"Have you ever thought about just… being nice to her?"

"Listen," James sighed and looked up, "I was never rude to her. I've never done anything—"

"James, you bullied his best friend for years, and then asked her out in front of everyone, after you humiliated her best friend. _In front of everyone_."

With his eyebrows furrowed in confuse, James went on angrily, "But Snape called her… you know what he called—"

"Yeah, I know, Snape is an asshole. Get over it. Just because he's like that, it doesn't make you better, if you don't do anything about it."

"Well, I'm still better than Snivellus," James mumbled under his breath, and the dog barked in the corner. Marlene to let out an annoyed sigh. "It doesn't matter anyway," he went on. "Even if I change, Lily wouldn't care. She doesn't even want to know me better."

As much as it hurt to admit, Marlene felt sorry for James, seeing him like this because of Lily. "She's stubborn. But if you'd change a bit… maybe she'd change her mind as well."

Snapping his head up, James started to smile. "Are you saying I have a chance?"

Marlene smiled, but rolled her eyes. "Forget I said anything."

"So I have a chance," James grinned confidently, and Marlene decided it's better not to getting a stupid argument about it with him. She didn't want to admit, and she never will, but she indeed thought there could be something between her friends one day.


End file.
